POETRY
DYSPHORIA
We aren’t what we want
Inherent
or
Aesthetic
We change what we can
artist
BOAT SUNK IN THE MARINA
Channel it into something
Channel it into art
Flip on a channel and watch the feelings depart
As you’re awash in stimulus
Feel the pressure going down
Call it boredom and scroll as you mindlessly drown
Rage, shrivel, and mourn
Loathe, squirm, and bite
When always at attention the wicks too drawn to ignite
Feel it smoke and smolder
As emptiness settles in
When escapes in the palm of your hand your sense of self grows thin
Put it into others
Put it into fame
In the face of others our life seems pretty lame
Mindless husks unthinking
Unfeeling, ugly too
Living life domesticated like animals at the zoo
Tap the glass from your side
I’ll tap it from mine
Constantly tapping others for a lively sign
The churning of the stomach
The thumping of the heart
Swallow a pill for feelings and pass them in a fart
Take to the wind unfettered
And search the faraway knolls
Perhaps in nature you’ll find transcendental souls
People who let themselves feel things
Might even understand them as well
But they’ll never truly know you and neither will you, I can tell
Sit with yourself
Just sit
And let the moments pass by
Sit with yourself and feel
C’mon, just give it a try
Poem:
(adjective)
1. a l?st of words or phrases in some continuous manner that suggests meaning through thought and chronology and/or provides comfort and company.
2. a bad justification for stream of consciousness.
APARTMENT 3R
Rooftop pirouettes
Elephants parade the halls
Welcome to our tribe
PATIENCE
To sit confined in space of four by four
is torture for a mind that can't be still.
Mind racing pacing cannot ease the bore
with moments all phoned in when time's to kill.
A virtue taught to every boy and girl
is harder now with ev'rything so short.
No longer made to wait when feeling squirr'l,
instead a screen for in-between to court.
Depressions on the rise and I can guess
the cause, connection disconnecting us.
Excelling most when in fact we had less.
The price we've paid, attention now a fuss.
Your beauty only grows the more I age.
Your name burdened with wisdom bygone sage.
SELF-INGESTATION
Clawing into the flesh of the lives around me.
I offer my arm in return.
Desperately wanting to be the communion in the steeples
Around me for which I yearn.
Eat my game so it doesn't
Spoil on the shelf.
None for me, I’m on a diet.
I''m done indulging in myself.
Thoughts of dizzying delights are often circumvented by the rigid angularity of reality.
A healthy balance is finding a little bit of excess in all things.
ETERNITY
Days collide and pass
Slip into millennia
There’s always more time
THE MONSTER THAT LIVES IN MY REFLECTION
The monster that lives in my reflection,
The reality I want to deny;
Obscene dreams are these gross predilections.
If I turn so does it in reaction,
I can’t shake it no matter what I try.
The monster that lives in my reflection.
When I close my eyes and dream with passion
Reality is something I defy!
Obscene dreams are these gross predilections.
Fearing inevitable collision
I hide them away from those that might pry.
The monster that lives in my reflection.
I want a brain not plagued by division,
One that can find contentment in a lie.
Obscene dreams are these gross predilections.
It’s too far gone for any correction,
I’ll be at odds till the day that I die.
The monster that lives in my reflection.
Obscene dreams are these gross predilections.
Oh, Reflection of Mine
I want you to explode
To commodify you|
Press you flat
And dye you green
I want you to not just
Fix me
But fix everything
Compress reality into
One less plane of existence
I want you to simplify
And make my yoke easy
Yoke the inexorable
Anguish and apathy
Crystal codification
I want you to
Love me back
Oh, reflection of mine
PLAY
Jack was a very good boy
Who always picked up his toys
But when he was done
He missed all the fun
So he took them back out to enjoy
ODE TO A RAT
Scavenging over careless debris
Our waste is your playground
Sifting through artificial serotonin
Paws splash through hubris and piss and leave marks in August snow
Seasons off kilter foreboding our end
But our time means nothing to you
All that matters is that our disregard brings you more life
You’ll mourn our death but we won’t yours
We wage wars led by false Tzars
Raise a glass to your death
And tip our sweet poison on the tracks
You scamper out of sight at our pouring misery
Our selfish joy
But only for a moment before returning to lap it up
Myopic light that will never be rid of its shadow
We hate what scares us
We hate ourselves
We hate the rats
Who live in the street because there’s no other place to live
Affordable housing is reserved for rodents running on wheels of ego
24
To be or not to be? There is no choice;
Indifference starts to drowse reality.
I’ll pour a round and drown me with rejoice
From town to group to self all absentee.
I scream, you scream, everyone screams at once
no one can hear with solips’m around
Writing silly, stupid, a spastic dunce
I’ll put on airs of mental soul unbound
My friend, how can you do it with such ease?
For me, it’s drawing blood from solid stone.
Perspective change my brain is holy cheese
I’ll curl up and nib on it alone
Belittlement is all my brain doth know
To find some peace you must learn to let go.
frying pan afternoons
hanging on the hook
pot pot pan pot pot pan
goose
geese
quack-a-lac-crack
two eggs over easy
side of home fries
don’t forget the ketchup
coffee while you wait
cream & sugar decorations
breakfast paperweights
you gotta drink it black
black like the seasoning
no soap
do it with passionate indifference
and ease will follow suit
ill drink to that
it's gone cold
SEND IN THE CLOWNS 1/24/22
I’ve done it again
Unthinking, unhinged, uncouth
Sullied another relationship
With words and actions that snipe
Self-righteous indignation
Cowering as a care
I tee-hee and chortle
And pry underneath your skin
Til’ it’s too much
The wringing and scraping and landmines
Living in a memory
Nostalgia flashes red
And you rip the fleam from your arm
You’ve given me buckets of blood
And I’ve given you attention
Self-importance self-imposed
You dispose me
Feigning nonchalance
Innocent excuses bumping single file
Send them out to recess
Just go
It’s better for you
Sit in your sanctum and scream
Into the void
Pull out the pins
And toss the crimson fabric away
Sentiment isn’t reason enough to stay
I don’t expect to hear from you soon
And I won’t call
I set you free from this beautiful torture
Go get yourself off from some other masochist
When I need blood from now on
I’ll only bleed myself
And I will hardly feel it
The love that I have felt